Episode 1

Kid History - Episode 1 - by BoredShortsTV is the first episode of Kid History, created by Randy Roberts. This tells a story of Randy and John driving home from school, but they get chased by a crazy guy.



Plot
The episode begins with John listening to a story being told by his daughter. It begins with Randy and John riding their bikes (then driving) from school. At school, Randy cries because he doesn't have "big friends" and Barbie toys. Later they get to a stoplight and get yelled at by a crazy guy. John turns around and mistakens the guy for his friends. The crazy guy threatens to punch they're car "so they'll go". John tells him not to and Randy threatens to punch the crazy guy's car. They drive away but the crazy guy throws a bottle of "pop" at their car and threatens to steal their "birthday stuff". The boys wipe off the spill with a napkin. Then one of the second kid to appear shakes his butt for no reason. Then the boys make it home. Randy (then changed to John) gets the feeling that the guy is still there. Then John goes to the park and his front door and goes to the bathroom in his pants. The crazy guy comes at John and attempts to punch him, but John blocks the punch and pushes him down to the ground. Then the crazy guy goes to sleep, sucks his thumb and runs around in place. John puts the guy in a headlock and the guy makes weird sounds. Randy sits on him so he can't get up and says that if he bothers them again, he will have to "sit in the toilet for two days". He admits that he will stop and is released and says that John and Randy "dumped him". Before he gets in his car, he says that he knows where the boys live. The boys say that they know his license plate number. As the guy drives away, he puts sparkles on his car. After the credits, John's daughter says "The End".

Transcript
(Opening logos: In our family there is a story that will forever live in infamy...What you are about to see are the exact event that occured that day [as understood by the youngest members of the family.])

Kid #1: I'll tell a story about you, okay?

John: Okay.

Kid #1: Once upon a time there was a...daddy named John. (Shows John sitting on a bench.) And there was...Randy. (Randy appears next to John.)

Kid #2: Once upon a time, Uncle John and Uncle Randy were little. John and Randy were five. (Randy and John turn into five year olds.) They were ten. (Turn into ten year olds.) No, just thirty. (Change back to normal.)

Kid #1: They ride their bikes. (Randy and John ride their bikes.)

Kid #3: One day, Randy and John were driving home from school. (school bell is heard.)

Kid #2: And they were driving a car. (Bikes change into car.) They were coming home from high school.

Kid #1: At school one day. Then Randy cried- (shows Randy crying.) -'cause he didn't have big friends. (zooms out and shows John and his friends laughing at Randy and holding Barbie dolls.) Or he didn't have...any Barbie toys. (laughs hysterically.) That is a really funny story.

John: (laughs).

Kid #2: They got to a st..stoplight. (The boys stop at a red light.) Then...the guy yelled-

Crazy Guy: Agh, you stupid kids! Y...you stupid kids!

Kid #4: The guy...because the guy was like this. (swings stick around.)

Crazy Guy: (swings arm around.) Don't do that. It's green.

Kid #1: Randy said-

Randy:...Nuffing.

Kid #2: Then John turned around- (John turns) -and said-

John: Are those my friends?

Kid #2: But it wasn't his friends. It was some crazy guy.

Crazy Guy: Hey weirdos! Go! Or else...I'm gonna come out...and punch your car so you'll go!

Kid #2: John...said-

John: (pokes head out of window) ...Don't punch...our car.

Kid #2: Randy...said-

Randy: ......I'm going to punch your car.

Kid #3: And then they drive away. (Randy and John drive away.)

Kid #2: (Crazy Guy opens a bottle of water with his mouth.) He opened a bottle of pop and threw it at their car. (Crazy Guy throws bottle at the car's windshield.)

Crazy Guy: Hey! You weirdos! I'm gonna steer...steal your...birthday stuff!

Kid #1: And then he wiped it off with a nakkin. (Randy wipes windshield.)

(Kid #2 gets up and shakes his butt.)

Kid #2: Then the kids came home and...Randy said-

Randy: Hey, John. Wait a minute.

(Randy changes to John.)

Kid #2: John said-

John: Hey, Randy. Wait a minute. (coughs.)

Kid #1: And then he went to the park. (show John on a playground.) Then he went to...the door. (shows John standing near the front door.) And then he go potty. (John pees in his pants.) The end.

Kid #3: And then a car speeds up to their driveway. (Crazy Guy's car pulls over.) And then...he's like-

Crazy Guy: (walks towards John and Randy.) Hey, you dumb kids! (pulls off his glasses.)

Kid #2: The guy went at John and...he tried to punch him...but...he blocked the punch.

Crazy Guy: Agh! (John pushes Crazy Guy.)

Kid #2: And he pushed him to the ground.

Kid #1: Then he go to to sleep. (Crazy Guy lies down.) and then he closed his eyes and closed his mouth. (Crazy Guy shuts his eyes and yawns.) And then...he put his arms upside down, and he put his shirt down. (Crazy Guy puts shirt down and sucks his thumb.) And then...he did that. (Laughs.)

John: Then what?

Kid #1: And then... (runs in circles) he runned around and runned around and runned around. (Crazy Guy runs in place.) The end.

Kid #2: John pushed him in the ground and...made him do a headlock. (Crazy Guy puts himself in a headlock.) John pushed him in the ground and put him in a headlock. (John holds Crazy Guy in a headlock.) And...the guy on the ground started saying-

Crazy Guy: Grrrr. Agh! Agh! Agh agh aghhhhhh...agh. Augh. AHHHH!

Kid #3: Then Randy sits on him so he can't get up. (Randy sits on Crazy Guy.)

Kid #2: Then Randy said-

Randy: If you do any more of this, you're gonna have to sit in the toilet for...two days.

Kid #2: Then the guy said-

Crazy Guy: Okay, okay. I'll stop!

Kid #2: Then John said-

John: Stop what?

Kid #2: Then they let him go. (Crazy Guy walks towards his car and turns.) Then he said-

Crazy Guy: You guys dumped me!

Kid #2: And then he said-

Crazy Guy: I know where you live! (gets in car.)

Kid #2: Then...John and Randy said-

Randy and John: Yeah. We know...your license plate number.

Kid #1: And...and he made it sparkly. (Car sparkles.)

Kid #2: And then...they went home. And then...the end.

Kid #4: The end. (Jumps off of the couch.)

Kid #1: I forgot to say that.

(Credits roll.)

Kid #1: The end.

Trivia

 * On the DVD, Randy Roberts reveals that the Crazy Guy did not throw water at his car. He actually threw a bottle of rubbing alcohol.
 * Brett Roberts said that his son said "I'm gonna steal your birthday stuff!" because his birthday came after the day they filmed the episode, as revealed on the DVD.
 * John Roberts said that he had a friend with him during the scene where they were driving. His friend is obviously not featured in the episode.
 * Kid #3 will later appear in Episode 7.
 * Kid #2 will later appear in Episode 9.
 * Macy (Kid #1) will later appear in Episode 4 and Episode 7.
 * John, on the DVD, reveals that the Crazy Guy swore at them, but that was a good idea to not feature that scene.
 * In the episode, the reason that the Crazy Guy was angry at Randy and John was that they wouldn't move at a green stoplight. In the actual story, John thought that the Crazy Guy was his friend, so they decided to play a prank on them where they would go 1 mpr.
 * In a deleted scene, shown on the DVD, the kid that made a cameo at the end tells a short story about monsters, but another kid pushes him and stops him. That kid will be in Episode 7 later on.

Cast (in order of appearance)
John Roberts - John

Randy Roberts - Randy

Richard Sharrah - Crazy Guy

Macy Roberts - Kid #1

Brett's Son - Kid #2

Unknown kid - Kid #3

Unknown kid - Kid #4